My boyfriend has told me he is bisexual and I am distraught because…?
we have been together for 8 years and are getting married next year. I had my suspicions about it but brushed them off as me being paranoid. Today he confessed to me he looks online at she-males and that if the opportunity ever arose he would sleep with one, if he wasn’t with me, but he’d never cheat on me.
I just feel that if I were to marry him, he will always have this desire and that he would still go online looking and fantasising about sleeping with one and actually do it.
We were both each others one and only sexual partners aswell so he hasn’t been with anyone else so his desires could be very strong to cheat at some point.
Please give me some advice?
Crim Liar – I have always trusted him but, he hasn’t told me up until now but has know for a while.
It is hard to trust when someone tells you that.
September 14th, 2010 at 4:08 am
DO NOT GET MARRIED, Until you become adjusted to whether you can live with those choices.
You do not want to have children in that kind of situation. It doubles the risk of SERIOUS diseases.
September 14th, 2010 at 4:11 am
do you like men? do you love your fiance? let him do what he wants. people should be partners, not jailers, and in the end, if you both find someone attractive, it’s all the more fun for you.
September 14th, 2010 at 4:35 am
If he’s going to cheat then he’s just as likely to do it with a woman than he is a man. So if before you found out you completely trusted that he wouldn’t then there shouldn’t be a problem. And as for looking online, pretty much all men watch porn, there’s no harm in it. I hope things work out.
September 14th, 2010 at 5:06 am
I think your fiancee is giving you the option to run now or stay because he may be selfish in the future and indulge in this fantasy of his. it has probably and most definately played on his mind for sometime and this is why he has told you beforehand, to give you the option to either stick around or leave. This couls just be fantasy or could be very real. either way hun you need to decide what it is you want to do stick at it and always have that *what if* walking to the alter or call it a day and tell your fella to get his head around his sexuality and to try and move on. your call.
much luck and love your way xx
September 14th, 2010 at 6:04 am
You are getting married to someone next year, you’ve been together for 8 years, and you don’t trust him? Either you have ground not to trust him, or you have your own issues. The fact that he has never had a sexual partner other than yourself makes him less likely to cheat not more likely.
Sorry if that’s a little assertive, but I’m a bisexual guy (though she-males do nothing for me) and I’m monogamous. I’m 45yo and I’ve NEVER cheated on a partner, though I’ve managed to get myself into some “interesting” situations when not in relationships, and I’ve been the person that others have cheated with – yeah it’s hypocritical I know!
Bisexuals are no more likely to cheat than anyone else!
September 14th, 2010 at 6:25 am
It sounds to me like you guys really need to have a long talk about this. Obviously you are having trouble coping with this bit of information and he may be having some issues as well, but atleast he did come to you. Sit down with him and talk. You two need to figure out how you both feel and what is in the future for your relationship now. Best of Luck.
September 14th, 2010 at 7:25 am
I think the problem here is that he is looking online at other people. Its exactly the same as if he was heterosexual and was looking at other women online. Dear the problem isn’t that he is bisexual, the problem is that he is looking at other people while he is still with you. Thats the thing that you and your fiance are gonna have to sort out. Do realise that everyone is greedy and bisexuals have just as much chance of cheating as heterosexuals and homosexuals.
You’re going to have to talk to him about looking at other people, not the fact that he is bisexual. Don’t focus on the wrong thing
September 14th, 2010 at 8:01 am
maybe you guy should take a break , as in see other people for the time being. in the end if you guys end up together again then that’s how you know its ment to be.
September 14th, 2010 at 8:23 am
I had a similar experience with my girlfriend. When she told me, I had all the common feeling of ‘will they cheat’, ‘can I satisfy them enough’ all alongside the faithful, threesome conversation. At the end of the day you have to learn to trust them to not cheat on you. It’s always hard learning about a partners sexual desires and fantasies, and this is magnified when those fantasies and desires include something you can’t give them. Talk to him about it. Sometimes it can be hard to learn about sexual things they would do without you, even if they never cheat on you, it’s still hard to stomach. Eventually things will get better and you’ll both learn how to trust each other and satisfy each other 100%.
It is possible to have a 100% happy, satisfying and monogamous relationship with someone who is bisexual.
Good Luck