What to do when your son comes home and says someone hit him but he doesn’t want me to do anything?
My son came home today crying… He told me this kid pushed him down today. He says he told the teacher and the teacher dealt with the little boy. I asked him if I needed to come to the school and talk with the teacher about today and he says no because the boy may beat him up tomorrow if he tells on him..
Should I go to the school tomorrow or just let it be?? I don’t want kids picking on him.That’s not ok with me.
September 28th, 2010 at 5:45 pm
put your kid in boxing
September 28th, 2010 at 6:08 pm
He took care of it Mom, LET IT BE! for heavens sakes!
September 28th, 2010 at 6:09 pm
You’d be better off getting him into martial arts classes. Seriously. You going down to the school is going to make things worst for him. It would be better to find out the boy’s name who punched him and then somehow find his parent’s phone number and than nicely explain to them your concerns about your boy being punched by their boy.
But martial arts classes would teach him how to defend himself and give him confidence.
September 28th, 2010 at 6:28 pm
Just let it be. I know it’s hard to when someone has hurt your son, but he did the right thing by telling a teacher and the situation has already been dealt with.
September 28th, 2010 at 6:58 pm
It sounds like your son handled it with the teacher’s help. He just wanted some comforting words and advice from you.
At this point don’t call the school. Wait and see how your son handles the situation. It may blow over in a week or so. If it doesn’t then reconsider, but give your son some time to deal with it.
I was just talking about this today with my adult daughter. My kids would come home from time to time with the odd bullying incident and I would ask if they wanted me to call the teacher or parent and they always said no! So I didn’t intervene. I asked my daughter today if it was right for me to listen to to them or if they wished I had intervened. She said just knowing that I was ready to intervene was enough for them. It was reassuring to know I was ready to step in anytime they really needed me to, but it was better in the long run that I let them deal with problems.
September 28th, 2010 at 7:18 pm
definitely go up there and request them talk to his mom too. bullying supposedly has a 0 tolerance thing (at all the schools I’ve been around) you do not want your kid living in constant fear of the other kid beating him up if he stands up for himself and tells the teacher (or his mommy) what that kid did to him. It is not right. I would make sure the teacher and principal know the situation and how your kid is scared the bully will beat him up for telling and keep a strict supervision over him. If he does “beat him up” they should suspend him and if the problem persists, you can take it to a higher level of authority. For now keep it civil and respectful. I fully intend to act upon my daughter’s behalf should anything like this come up when she enters school. I don’t want her to live in fear. I was emotionally bullied as a kid and boy did it fk me up. I will never stand for bullying and I encourage all mothers I hear anything about like this to make everyone more aware of the bully in the class so they can give him more supervision, proper punishments (suspension if necessary) and sometimes the school goes as far to even demand counselling. I hope you resolve this issue, your son may be angered with you now, but it could seriously prevent a lot of unnecessary hurt feelings, and possibly blood and bruises. If its not stopped now, your son may think later that bullying is ok and not tell anyone about it, which is a very bad thing. If the school does nothing, like absolutely nothing, you could threaten a court case.
September 28th, 2010 at 7:33 pm
As a parent they don’t need you to do it for them – but do help them figure out ways they can fix things themselves. Role play whatever, they need examples on how you handled things when you were their age.
September 28th, 2010 at 7:37 pm
If he doesn’t want you do anything, than that’s what you should do. You should respect his wishes, but that doesn’t mean you can’t help in other ways.
Like helping him deal with bullies in a calm and mature way. Nowadays there is so much bully awareness stuff out there. Search the net and see if there is anything that might help.
In my opinion, i think you sould be his friend, and show him support and know he always has someone he can turn to, rather than a controlling mum who is gunna get in involved and make matters worse because that means next time he isn’t going to tell you at all and then what can you do?
September 28th, 2010 at 7:47 pm
This was happening to my little boy who was only six at the time and it broke my heart i wanted to go up the school and have serious words but i also wanted him to be able to stand up for himself.It really knocked his confidence anyway i put him into tae kwon do and he’s doing really well…..Now none of the kids pick on him and if the do he stand up to them and ever backs down he is not afraid anymore and it has completely stopped in fact the kid who was bullying wanted to come for tea (NO Chance)lol ! I am so proud of him he is now a councillor for his year and is looking out for the other kids :o)
September 28th, 2010 at 8:34 pm
It sounds like your son it still pretty young (elementary) so in that case I would become very involved. If he was older (H.S.) and it wasn’t a serious fight, I wouldn’t do anything about it if he already said the teacher dealt with it.
My son (a freshman) said he would never tell on someone because he would be labeled the snitch and wouldn’t have any friends. It’s really stupid, but true. Kids in school really don’t care about the rules and get away with a lot more because schools rarely enforce their own rules and the true authority figures (parents) aren’t around. As my sister (age 17) says, school is not real life.
September 28th, 2010 at 8:44 pm
I also think enrolling your son in martial arts is a fabulous idea. Tell him you are proud that he wants to handle this on his own, and tell him that younwilltrust him if he will trust you and keep you informed. Enroll him in the martial arts ASAP.
September 28th, 2010 at 9:12 pm
Right now I would let it go, If it continues talk to him on what he would like to do, maybe put him in self defense classes. Usually it will work out, He has friends who can look out for him
I really can only give my opinion as someone who was like him, I never had kids, But I had friends who helped, and I later gained confidence but never had to fight
Hope it works out,