Why is American hospitality so cheezy and tacky?
Where i come from and the several friends I have from other nations, hospitality is #1. Meaning when we invite friends or family over, we throw lavish dining and good spirts and wine. We entertain at dinner for several hours by toasting singing dancing. In America, i get invited and someone tells me to “BYOB” or they just order pizza and someone else brings beer.
July 19th, 2010 at 11:42 am
I didn’t find that at all. In fact when I went to America I was really impressed with their customer service, their hotel rooms etc. It far exceeded my expectations. Also, the people I went to see knew how to throw a good BBQ.
July 19th, 2010 at 12:03 pm
Maybe the Americans you know are casual people? If you don’t like them then try to get new friends.
July 19th, 2010 at 12:26 pm
It’s just the way it is, however we can’t generalize. Maybe it also depends on the occasion. There are so many factors involved.
But yeah, when you talk about hospitality, I do miss how families (neighbors/husband’s colleagues families etc) used to often visit each other just to visit and chat. From my experience in the 80’s when I was growing up, I remember my family visiting or us having guests including a long chat/laughs/homemade meal by the host. Tv wasn’t a part, internet, video games weren’t a part of this. Just a couple hours of human interaction and sharing. Even after dinner walks together. Those days are lost. Unless we bring it back consciously.
PS: Another point came to mind. Us has a more individualistic value system, whereas the countries u speak of perhaps have a more group culture. In Us, it’s more a self-service thing. In a way, that is great. It stresses on independence. There are great and valuable sides to everything that one experiences. However, I would not generalize that in US there’s no hospitality. It depends on the kind of family too. The southern states esp. are known to be very hospitable states.
July 19th, 2010 at 12:59 pm
I guess we’re just more relaxed and less formal than most other folks.
July 19th, 2010 at 1:03 pm
With over 300 million people here I’m guessing that we’re not all like the ones that invited you to their homes. Just a guess.
July 19th, 2010 at 1:36 pm
The problem with your thinking is that you take your minimal experiences and apply it to the whole country. Yes, people of our generation tend to go for the pizza delivery and byob thing, but are you telling me you’ve never been invited to a barbecue? You bring yourself and your appetite! There’s plenty of food and drink, music and dancing and even sports. Lots of Americans love to entertain-spending whole days planning, cleaning and preparing the home, cooking lavish meals and inviting everyone they know. Some people live for that type of thing. Don’t generalize, it’s so cheesy and tacky!
July 19th, 2010 at 2:16 pm
and were I come from wish is America we don’t talk bad or criticize people that give us hospitality
July 19th, 2010 at 2:18 pm
I am an American On my income, I personally cannot afford to serve lavish dinners , good spirits and wine. My life is extremely busy and I also don’t have time to spend hours entertaining people with toasting, singing and dancing. I can’t speak for everyone, but most people are trying to cut back on the money they spend for entertainment in these challenging times.
But “hospitality” does not equal spending a lot of money. It has more to do with making people feel welcome than spending too much money to impress people.
July 19th, 2010 at 2:26 pm
You have not met ever American so you can’t pass a judgment like that.
July 19th, 2010 at 3:14 pm
It’s not that it’s cheezy and tacky, it’s just a culture difference. Americans typically do more “lavish” affairs only for special occasions (like holidays and birthdays) but it depends on what part of the country you are talking about. We also have many sub-cultures, being such a large nation.
In Vietnam it’s ok for young children to go to school in PJ’s, whereas in America if someone sent their child to school that way social services comes knocking on the door. Does that make the Vietnamese wrong? Of course not! It’s just different.
In Cambodia, all guests to a wedding bring enough money for the bride and groom to cover the costs of the wedding. In America, we bring presents off the registry, and the bill falls on either the parents or the couple. Once again, it’s not “wrong” or “tacky,” it’s just different. Now to do the opposite culture’s thing outside of their country, that’s when things become rude.
You have to learn to blend in where you are, and respect other people’s ways of life. When I go to Korea, I never blow my nose in public. I have TERRIBLE allergies, but I always find a way to do it privately. Why? Because they view it as bad manners. I couldn’t care less about someone blowing their nose, but I abide by their social norms when I am there, because it is their home. Not mine.
You should be flattered that they want to “hang out” with you. That’s what we do in America, if we enjoy someone’s company we choose to spend time with them casually AS WELL AS formally, when the occasion comes. If you don’t like it, politely decline the invite.
July 19th, 2010 at 4:05 pm
You wrote, “In America, i get invited and someone tells me to “BYOB””
That’s just because no one likes YOU! We’re very cordial to everyone else.
Good luck!… ☺